Playgrounder

a moment

two

three

I've forgotten how long its been since my last breath.

four

i stand with my eyes glaring straight at chest hair. I think I've convinced him its interesting down here. What ever i need to do to avoid his eyes.

'don't look up' i tell myself

i look up

five

instantly i feel him pulling away the bricks around me.

The people of Berlin cheer.

six

Fuck this moment.. fuck fuck fuck.. the "fucks" in my head wont stop.

seven

again. i remind myself to breathe.

I'm breathing now. fast. but breathing.

I stare at him and he stares back. Finally the moments merge and i feel warm and less broken up into time slots.

His lips are so close i forget about time all together. who cares how long I've been standing here.

the breathing stops again

I've kissed before. "no big deal" i tell myself"

I'm trying hard to focus on what exactly I'm staring at, and less of what I'm staring into.

failed.

Big green freckled circles. That's all i got.

eight

our lips touch, after what felt like an eternity. All the super corny shit you read about in fariytales happens.

Worlds stopping

Fireworks

no one else existing

blah blah blah...

oh vomit.

yeah, okay..... it still happens.

Fairytales aren't real. Peter pan slaps me in the face and finally i snap out of it.

The nausea flutters away and now i can focus on whats actually happening.

a tongue massaging mine.

this is good. much better

I've kissed before.

nine

i open my eyes, eager for the real world.

i open my eyes, eager to step away

I open my eyes, and i still just stare and stand

nothing feels real and i don't take even a tiny step back.

Green freckled circles and I'm back where i started, actually never having escaped at all.

ten

he knows it. he smirks. he kisses me. he smirks. he pulls me in. he smirks.

the fucker knows it